I believe I had my first all-out anxiety attack today. My heart was pounding, I got dizzy, felt like my face was going to burst into flames, and had a very hard time not crying. It happened on the way to Nanton and lasted about 20-30 minutes.
What a terrifying and horrible experience.
I have been feeling lost and in a rut for some time now. I believe this was my body SCREAMING at me to wake up and start following my heart. That's much scarier than one would think. When you have people who depend on you professionally and emotionally, you can't just pick up and run away...although that very thought has crossed my mind many times.
Awareness. To what is going on within and outside of ourselves. When we get too far from our best selves and our true path, this is what happens.
Have you been ignoring what your body and the Universe are trying to tell you? They are never wrong.
From every ending rises a new beginning. We all know this, right? It doesn't make those endings any easier, does it. Especially those endings that we didn't see coming.
I just celebrated one year of Spiritual Coffee. That amazes me. One year of me sharing my most vulnerable self. One year of laughter and tears and growth and set backs. It was a space that I created because I felt called to do so. I am so proud of what was shared on that space - not only by me, but by my other, beautiful guest writers.
Now, through some wisdom of my previous web hosts, it is all gone. I cried, I hurled curse words at my computer, I cried some more.
Then I made myself a cup of coffee, cried a little in it, and began the process of creating a new space. The entire time I was raging and crying I kept hearing it, "Everything happens for a reason"...my own mantra. Now, instead of lamenting about what is lost, I am getting down to the business of creating something new. I can see that this is an opportunity for me to give rise to a new and improved space.
...and that is just what I intend to do. The same Spiritual Coffee, the same me, the same journey, but better. Reinvented. More. I will be adding some little projects and experiments that I hope you will all join me in. I love the interaction that I get from you, my amazing readers, so keep it coming! I will strive to do one, possibly two, posts per week. I do try to post daily on my Spiritual Coffee Facebook page and I also have my Spiritual Coffee Instagram posts so there are lots of places to find me!
Thank you all for your continued support. I look forward to continuing this journey together! ♥