I love New Year’s Eve.
Not for the parties - I’m lucky if I even stay awake to see midnight! But for the gift of reflection. It’s the last page of a book. A book that, like it or not, you had a hand in writing. This day is an opportunity to look back at the lessons learned. The opportunities missed. The gifts received.
I went into 2017 with no expectations. No resolutions. Just an open mind and heart. A willingness to receive whatever was brought to me. It ended up being a year that I could never have imagined in a hundred years. Filled with blessings and lessons that I could not have dreamed of.
The gift of self love. What a huge one that was/is. To be able to look at myself through loving eyes, rather than critical ones.
The gift of love - and seeing my self through the eyes of someone truly amazing. Someone whom, I know, I’ve spent many lifetimes with.
The gift of putting myself back in the driver’s seat - both figuratively and literally. I took classes and steps to become a business owner which I’m so excited about. I also bought myself a car. The first one I’ve purchased on my own in over 27 years, and she’s a pretty one.
I’ve cut people out of my life, and been cut out of others. This is a tough one. I’m an introvert, but I need to have a circle of friends. I’m learning that those circles ebb and flow and that’s ok. The ones that are meant to be a permanent part of my story will always find their way back to me, and vice versa.
I’ve watched my two daughters - my greatest gifts in this life - step into new territory and not look back. They bloomed and flourished once they were out of the shadows of their pasts. One graduated high school and stepped into her future with grace and confidence that goes beyond her years. The other finally found her tribe and is moving forward with them all surrounding her. They have both been given hard lessons but also blessings.
Something else I finally started to learn was to let go. I know I’ve said this before, but I don’t think I truly got it then. For me, to let go is to truly trust the Universe. To stop fighting where it so very clearly is pointing me. When we have a certain outcome in mind - either a negative one or a positive one - we close ourselves off to the one that’s meant to be. We make things so much more difficult than they need to be. When I FINALLY stopped pushing against what was right in front of me, I found a peace that I haven’t felt in a long time, if ever. I’m too often my own worst enemy and the creator of my stress. If a burden is too heavy for me, it is because I have picked it up and chosen to carry it.
I’m moving forward into 2018 with anticipation, curiosity, and excitement. With a full heart. With intention, and with purpose. I can’t predict what the pages of this new book will hold, but I do know that they will be filled with adventures, love, lessons, and milestones.
Happy New Year to you all. May we all finish 2017 filled with grace and peace. 🖤