July 05, 2024
Remember that frustration that I was talking about in my previous post? Well, I'm actually kind of grateful for it. Let me explain....
A couple of months ago I felt guided to do one of those Human Design calculators online. I had done mine a long time ago, but couldn't remember what the result was nor did I ever do anything beyond that first step. So I headed to the Googs and typed in "free human design" or something and clicked on one of the links that came up.
After putting in my birth info, much like on the astrology sites, it came up that I am a pure Generator. Super. What does that mean. Well it means a lot of things, most of which I haven't even learned about yet, but off the top it means that if a situation, project, path is making me feel frustrated, then I am not acting/living in alignment with my design type. Feelings of frustration and satisfaction are my goal posts, basically.
I've been feeling frustrated with social media and the lack of connection to my community online for sometime. But I kept forging forward. Push harder. Be better. Do more. Fall in line. All of it not feeling like me. Frustration building. But I ignored it.
So when I did this Human Design thing and started reading about the Generator that I am and learned that frustration is a HUGE tell-tale feeling for me and my fellow Generators, I thought well wait a damn minute, you mean this is trying to actually tell me something? To guide me forward? Well I'll be darned.
So I actually listened to that frustration. It came up every time I put a post out into the social media world and no one would see it. Or engage with it. Or want to just fucking talk about it. I see these MLM "hey girl" women all over the place and their comment sections are full and I post a heartfelt, inspired, Spirit-guided, well thought out post that I have taken time to write and get fuck all. AAARRRAAAGGGHHHHH!!! Yeah, you could say I'm frustrated.
But I love writing. That's a giant piece of who I am. I often channel Spirit as I write. I connect with higher parts of my consciousness. I need to be able to create and write. I think the expectations and hopes that my efforts would be matched by those on the receiving end is what was fueling my frustration. So I'm listening to my Generator design. I'm removing the situation that was creating the frustration. I'm still doing what lights me up, but I stepped away from the part of the equation that was creating the frustration for me.
And I actually feel better. I'm not shoulding on myself about posting on those places. Now when I post, it will be because I want to, not because I'm screaming into the proverbial void. I'm here, writing because it feels good. Because it clears my head. Because it lubes the gears, so to speak.
Ahhhhhh....satisfaction. Back in alignment of my Human Design.
Interesting, right? And I have literally just nicked the surface. I'm curious and excited to learn more about this and apply what I can to my personal and professional life.
So...thank you frustration. I'll try to pay closer attention to you from now on.
If someone is reading this, thanks! I'm glad you're here!
Loveyoukaybyeeee,
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